Intention
by Srathor
Summary: <html><head></head>A phone call from Martha to Beckett, leads to questions, and perhaps some answers - My first story anywhere.</html>
1. Chapter 1

She answers her phone as she always does, "Beckett".

"Oh, Hi Martha, umm what can I do for you?" she replies, after the grand damme makes her greeting. "No, I have not seen Castle today, actually I have not talked to him since we closed that swimmers case a couple of days ago." The case, it is always about the case, her timeline of important dates and times could be marked with case files and murder photos, and maybe little evidence tags for birthdays.

The lovely detective starts to chew her lip slightly thinking about the "stupid idea", again, one month ago, that damned kiss. "What's that Martha, sorry I was distracted for a moment, yes, I can give him a message if I see him" she states. "You love him? That is the message?" now Beckett is getting worried, the triple killer case flashing back in her mind, of Ric..umm.. Castle's alerting of danger by telling his mother he loved her. "Martha! What is wrong, where are you?" "At the loft, right, I will be there in 15, and you are sure everything is fine, no kidnappers or explosives, or anything like that, right?" Beckett is out of her apartment in a flash, a pensive look on her face as she heads to the garage.

Beckett stands in front of the door once again, hand up to knock, worry etched across her face. She takes a deep breath and exhales it slowly, centering herself, draining the worry out with the departing air. Three sharp rapports on the wood later the door opens and Martha and Alexis are standing there with fake smiles that do not touch the eyes; that is, until they lie upon the detective's calm, stern features. The smiles grow deeper as Beckett watches them open the door, smiles and eyes fully engaged now, as Martha speaks, " Detective!, please come in, I am sorry that you came all the way here over for something as silly as what I said." Beckett's eyes rake over the room and the two ladies in a rapid sequence of threat assessment. Certain details stand out while Martha is speaking. One, they both look worried, and nervous, like they were doing something wrong. Two, where was Castle, he was always around, like a family dog he would come running if there was a knock on the door. "Martha, telling someone you love them is never silly, even if you two seem to use it as a code word for "Danger danger Will Robinson." Beckett replies a smile forming at the end of the statement. " Now, tell me please, what is going on?"

Alexis speaks up while Martha looks contemplative, "Dad is not himself, he is coming home late, and often exhausted, he is wincing like he has been hurt and he has lost some weight. When we have asked him what is going on he just says nothing, he is fine, or changes the subject."

"What do you mean, wincing?" Kate asks, seeking clarification as her hand comes up and moves a stray hair back over her ear. The young redhead replies," I gave him a hug yesterday when he finally got home, and he gasped like a fish out of water, it scared me, but he said he was fine and that I didn't know my own strength.

"Detective, do you think my dad is on drugs?"


	2. Chapter 2

_"Detective, do you think my dad is on drugs?"_

Beckett laughed at the wry smile on Alexis' face as the question was asked. "Too many after school specials, hunh?'

Alexis grins back, "Well we all know who the parent is in this relationship, but really, I am worried about my Dad. He has been withdrawn and not around as much. For over a month, he has been evasive, barely writing, and does not seem to be sleeping a lot either. I am really worried about him." Alexis says, with her smile long gone after that torrent of words and emotions.

"Alexis, I am sure he is fine. And no I am not glossing over your concerns for your dad." Becket replies after Alexis opens her mouth to voice a dissent. "Castle has been seeing me in the mornings and dropping off coffee at his regular time, she shakes her head wistfully, thinking to herself that few people have a world famous author as a delivery boy. "He has been spending time in the bullpen some days but others he has been off to get some things done as he puts it. I just thought he was writing."

Kate, he has not been writing much at all, I do the general proofreading on his chapters before he sends them to Gina, and he has given me nothing for a month and a half. "

As those words float in the air, causing each of the ladies to think for a moment on what to say next, the unmistakable sounds of keys in the door lock echo through the air around them and the trio makes a mad dash away from the door.

Richard Castle opens the door to the loft, hoping, no praying, no-one is there to greet him. The universe must still be pissed at him however because, as his luck would have it, there they are. His three favorite people in the world. He forces a smile onto his face, but the effect is ruined by the wince of pain as the split lip, barks it's disapproval, as the skin draws taught over the laceration in his cheek pulling at the sutures there. He thought he was hurting before as the tidal wave of female voices crash into him. He raises a hand and interrupts the cacophony of gasps and what the hells, and of course the "Richard, what have you done nows."

Time to pay the piper he thinks, and here goes nothing.

"Hello, Ladies!, looks like I have some splain'en to do."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Richard Castle stood before the three most important people in his life. All he could think was how much he wished he could be somewhere else for just a few more minutes, but a man has to do what a man has to do.

"Okay lets all go inside, I have an awful lot to tell you all." Rick says. Pumkin could you get me a glass of icewater, I am going to need some ice to help keep down the swelling. While Alexis heads to the kitchen with a look of worry on her face, he faces the other two women. One has a pained look of confusion and worry, the other a look of exasperation and… well… anger.

Alexis makes her way back with a glass of icewater and Rick takes a sip, wincing and starts to explain. "First off I am fine, but the explanation of what happened to my face has a story attached to it. Mother, Alexis, I know I have been hiding a lot from you over these last two months. So this will hopefully fill in some of those gaps."

Each of the ladies watches him as he spins his tale. Each with their own take on events. He explains the case of the dead cabbie that turned into so much more. Of Syrian ambassadors, of homeland security douchbags, of a family trapped and rent forever asunder by the misguided rage of warriors who felt abandoned by the lies of politicians.

For Kate who lived through it, it was an unbelievable tale, for Martha and especially Alexis, it was all of their fears come to life.

Castle covered the reasons leading to the freezer and some of what happened inside. Kate got to hear about what he thought of the events in that frozen hell. She got the hear about his fears of never seeing Alexis grow older, and her heart ached when she realized just how much his voice broke at that, then the ache turned into real pain as he described her, in his arms stopping her final declaration and falling into what he thought was her last few breaths. Her heart wanted to stop when she heard that his voice was as broken recounting his thought of her dying in his arms, as when he would never see Alexis again.

She closed her eyes to hold back emotions that she did not want to address; she once again took a deep breath to center herself, to focus on the fact, that they were okay. The cold was gone, warmth was still in them, that her heart beat still strong as ever, even if it was going a little pitter patter at the knowledge that maybe just maybe she might be wrong about the authors playboy persona.

Rick continued his story, after the two of them both gave a little shiver and met eyes for just a second. The word, the feeling of Always, a declaration they have both used, floating between them, tying them together. A promise and a gift all in one.

Rick glossed past the parking lot after the boys had come and rescued them. Quickly driving past what Kate now knew had hurt him deeply. Of her going to Josh for comfort while he spoke with Fallon. Her declaration of a chance, when just a short time before she was dying in Rick's arms.

Kate watched and listened as Rick told the rest of the story, she watched as Alexis shifted closer to him, both giving and receiving comfort in an almost equal measure.

He built up to the car chase, through the interrogation of the traitor, he related the terror of the I'm sorry's through the phone from Fallon.

Rick grimaced when he related the last few seconds. " Then I did what I had to do, with 1 second left and with little hope that it might at least stop the bomb, I held Kate's hand, made peace with my fate, and yanked every gorram wire out of the timer."

Both of the redheads looked to Kate with horror and fear etched on their faces to see if it was true. To see if the story could possibly be a joke. Their answer was plain on the brunettes face. The echo of one step to oblivion was there. Along with a small measure of pride directed towards the man in the room.

"Richard, why have we not heard about this on the news? Martha asked, "You would think in this day and age there would be things up on youtube, and everywhere else."

"Well mother, that leads into the next part of the story. There was pardon the expression, some fallout from this that Kate has not been privy to."

"Bob, wanted to give Kate and I a medal. But the Department of Homeland Security intervened. No-one was supposed to know. Somehow there was no-one in the immediate vicinity that had taped the events. I guess folks thought it was a traffic stop and the street was quiet where we were. But someone must have leaked it."

"There is some camera footage that a reporter got wind of from several security cameras around the area, and the story has been tied up in court for almost a month, but it will be coming out tomorrow. Video and all."

"All of our lives are about to change. Ours not so much, But Kate, I am so sorry Kate. Your 15 minutes is here, and it looks pissed."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Castle, Kate said, you were the one that disarmed the bomb. You are the hero here not me, they won't care about me."

"Sorry Kate you are going to be wrong on that point. You drove the car and stopped the van, the raw video I saw has a good look of you checking on Navia then coming to my side. Another angle had captured all of it from the back of the van, they got all of it including taking my hand and the hug afterwards." Castle replied sadly. "It is going to be everywhere, and there have already been questions about why I was the one to disarm it. That is only going to grow louder as people go into shock over the events and the failed cover up."

Rick looks over to his mother and daughter with pain etched across his features. Rick continues on speaking softly now. "I know I have said a lot tonight that you never knew about. I was trying to prevent you from worrying about Kate and I. We normally do not deal with bombs."

Alexis interrupts tears flowing down her face, "Dad, you sent us away. You knew, you knew about the bomb and you sent us away." Her voice breaks on the last word and the teenager buries her face into his shoulder crying and sniffling, trying to come to grips with the new knowledge.

Kate watches silently as Castle surprises her yet again, gone is the 12 year old, gone are the pithy quips and jokes, instead is a man, her partner, bearing his pain to the two women he cares most about in this world, telling them he willingly went off to die with her, rather than be safe with them. Because he had some need to help, to see her safe, not because of a job, or a paycheck. Because something threatened the city, the people, he loved. Because he knew she would never leave her duty, he never left her. The realization struck her finally. He would rather die than leave her.

"Shit" she muttered, her voice starting to rise, dealing with her feelings the only way she knew how, "Castle you, you, asshole!"

Rick looks up at her, rocking Alexis slightly, holding her close, surprise on his features, "Hunh, what did I do..?" Kate interrupts with heat rising in her voice, "You are a selfish, inconsiderate, exasperating, exhausting, JACKASS. "

"But, but' Rick tries to interject. "No buts, Castle, Kate interrupts, again, riding roughshod over the writer's soft voice, "you do not get to protect me from my job, you most certainly do not get to leave your family alone out of some misguided sense of chivalry, pretending to be a white knight and saving me from all manner of doom and death. Castle, you do not get to die for me. You have a family that needs you, that you love, and that loves you.

The three of them watch while Kate winds down from her anger, and in one voice they all reply to the overwhelmed detective, "You're family too."

The soft words hit Kate like hammers. Crumpling her to the floor, walls shattered, tears rise uncontrolled by wit or whim. Martha moves to the brunette's defeated form and kneels down, carefully taking her into her arms. "Darling, it is going to be alright, it is just the press, they can be managed, distracted, or deflected."

"It is not the press, the press can go hang themselves. It is him", she half sobs into Martha's shoulder, "he can't love me, he is not allowed, he's Richard freaking Castle, twice divorced, 12 year old on a sugar rush, will not stay in the car, pain in the ass, life saving, great kissing, assassin punching, bomb disarming, Richard freaking Castle!"

"Please note, she said "Great kissing", Rick interjects as Kate takes a breath.

A half sob, half laugh comes out of Kate's mouth, as she continues, "no you don't funny boy, you do not get to break my heart again, you do not get to love me like I love you."

"Kate you do realize, you are telling me what I can't do. I hope you know by now I am not going to listen." He replies with the beginnings of a real, full megawatt smile.

"Shit, shit, shit," Kate states in a half hearted voice, "what did I just say, what did I just admit, what are we going to do? Castle this is all your fault!"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Rick gently extricates himself from his daughters arms, and moves over to his mother, and helps her up. He then hold a hand down to offer aid if it is needed for the detective.

"Kate, I have been doing some things since the day after the incident. Some things I believe are going to, well, frankly they are going to make you doubt me, maybe even hate me a little bit more than you already do." Rick says with a look that Beckett has never seen before.

"Castle, I do not hate you, I could never hate you, shoot you yes. But hate, never." Kate replies taking his hand and standing, with slightly wobbly legs after her mini meltdown.

"Mother, you need to sit down for this, Kate you had best as well. He intones, with seriousness that Kate has only seen once before, when he said to her, "It is about your mother." Kate sits in the spot Castle vacated to help her and Martha stand, and Alexis quickly snuggles in close to her, eyes bright despite the seriousness of the discussions.

Kate muses to herself, shouldn't this be awkward, this shouldn't feel so natural to have Alexis this close. As Castle begins to speak, "I have not been completely honest with you, Kate, about me I guess you could say. You have gotten to know me pretty well over the years, but there are things I keep close to the vest. Things I have never told anyone."

"Castle. What are you trying to say? You have not killed anyone have you." The lovely brunette asks, her sharp eyes already searching through his body language, her mind already analyzing once again everything that is happening around her.

"No Kate, that is actually almost where the secrets start though, my failure to kill someone." Rick, presses on through that inflammatory statement, pushes through the responses and continues.

"Mother some 22 years ago, the summer after high school do you remember me taking a job down in Virginia?" "Yes, Richard, you were doing some training for some sort of agency or some such thing." Martha replies as Kate's eyes start to get a little wider.

"Correct, however Mother I never gave you the full details, if you remember I came back once the semesters started, and stayed on campus for my college years. You were married to Gregor back then." Kate watches Martha nod, and her agile mind already knows where this is headed.

"Well, I was training to be an agent in the Central Intelligence Agency." Rick states flatly, waiting for the explosions to occur.

Alexis speaks first, eyes wide and a smile on her face that is dwindling as it starts to sink in. "Really, Dad, come on. You can't even throw a baseball!"

Martha is fast on Alexis' verbal heels, with a "Richard, really darling, of all the stories…"

Kate interrupts Martha with a soft question, " Is that why you can shoot so well?"

Both of the other ladies look towards the detective, shocked that she is going along with the story. As Kate watches Rick settle himself into a face she rarely ever sees, 100% serious.

"Yes Kate, that and practice with Alexis and the laser tag system. She is really hard to hit you know." He replies.

"Dad, so you are saying you're a spy or something?" Alexis asks, clutching to Kate a bit tighter.

"No pumpkin, I failed the training, the final field tests, and the psyche exams made me unsuitable for what the CIA wanted. They wanted a wet works operative and that was how my training progressed, but certain issues kept coming up. I couldn't take things seriously enough; I couldn't follow certain guidelines, because I wouldn't kill when pointed at someone. I couldn't pull the trigger when they needed me too. So I was deemed unreliable for field work and kept on as a consultant basis through college."

As he finished up his statement, Kate could see the shame and pain as he said he had failed, but she could also see a hint of her Castle as he described his nature. She decided to go with levity and said to him, "Castle, you really couldn't follow orders even back then, I am shocked."

"Well Kate, you should at least not feel so bad, I had the best trainers in the world whip me into physical shape and hone me into a pretty effective fighting machine, but they all broke against my complete disregard for authority. Of course, none of them were as extraordinary as you."

"Kate, over the last couple months I have been working on a way to cover our asses. There are going to be a lot of inquiries, and second-guessing about our partnership. I am now as of tonight, officially in the employ of the Department of Homeland Security. I have been on loan to the 12th for the last three years and will have no other assignment. Noone will be able to take me away from you. Noone can order me to stop following you, except for you."

"Castle, why." she asks, with wonder in her voice, why would you do this, how much did all this cost."

"It just cost a few favors, some blood sweat and tears, and a lifetime of looking…"

"So help me god Castle, if you say for me, I will shoot you." Kate interrupts, with a smile on her face.

"Well that isn't good then, because I was going to say "for me", not as in for you, for me. But as in for me , umm.. for me. For myself."

"Kate, Mother, Alexis, as pathetic as it sounds I have never grown up. I know, big shock; but it is true. But now finally after tonight I know what I am, I know what I want to be."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Previously: _Finally, after tonight, I know what I am, I know what I want to be._

"Kate, I know you are an independent woman, an extraordinary officer of the law, and simply the most incredible person I have ever met. Plus you are very tall." Rick grins at that last bit, and continues past Kate's, blush and lowering of her eyes. "Tonight I passed several specially designed tests, from federal and state law enforcement, and from some ex seals who I have had various friendships and working relationships over the years."

"I can defend myself, as they put it better, than 99 percent of the people on the planet in hand to hand and bladed weapons training. You already know I can handle a gun. I know the proper procedures and protocols for federal and state building clears. Yes including turning off my ringer on the cell. And I have in my pocket a Federally approved badge to act as my shield."

"Dad," Alexis speaks up, "is that how you hurt your face, was it the tests?"

"No Pumpkin, that was something else. I'll tell you about it in a minute." He replies.

"Kate, I am your partner if you will have me, for better and for worse, because I am still me."

"Castle," Kate answers quietly, "What about Martha and Alexis? What if you get hurt, I don't think I can survive that."

"I have given it a lot of thought, and it is really quite simple, if I get hurt, if I get killed, life will go on." "I love everyone in this room, but it is my life, and I finally have a purpose past self-aggrandizement, past raising Alexis, and past writing books. I want to help you catch killers. I want to see justice served, and I want to do it with you." Rick, stands close to Kate as he finishes up, then quickly at the last second before Beckett can say anything in reply.

"As for my getting hurt, well you see my face? I fought a navy seal to a stand still, I couldn't take him, but he could also not take me. He didn't lay a good lick on me but sadly, I got all this after it was all over, I forgot to tie my shoes and tripped right into a lamp post."

He waited politely for the laughter to stop.


End file.
